Magnify No Other Name

Magnify No Other Name |

Today marks a year since I found out my dad has cancer. 

I still remember every moment of the day I got the news. I was finishing up lunch at a pizza place with some friends after being at a women’s retreat with my church all weekend. My dad called, and I answered thinking he was just going to check in with us and see how things were going. But instead his news changed my life forever. 

He told me the doctors found out that the pains he was having behind his stomach were actually caused by cancerous tumors growing in his lymph nodes. And in those few seconds that it took him to say that, my world crumbled around me. My daddy, my hero, was sick and there was nothing I could do to help him. In the days that followed, I struggled to keep myself together. I couldn’t believe that this was happening to me and my family. And I questioned God time and time again. 

I didn’t know why He chose my family to go through this. I didn’t understand why my dad was the one to suffer. And I couldn’t stop thinking about my mom, my siblings, and how much we still need my dad.

For the first few weeks I mourned and tried to process everything. It was all unknown, scary and hard to understand. With every doctor’s appointment we were propelled along on our rollercoaster ride. After finding out that Dad had stage 4 Non-Hodgkins lymphoma, we were told that treatment would be easy. Then the doctors said he may have a super rare strand of that cancer, which only has a 30% survival rate. They later confirmed that it was indeed that strand of cancer. However, upon further inspection, his oncologist decided it wasn’t the rare strand they thought it was, but rather one that’s a little more common. And after going back and forth with figuring out what type of cancer he had for about a month, he finally started chemo. We went through 9 long months of hospital stays, treatments, CAT scans, PET scans, blood work and doctor’s visits. 

Magnify No Other Name |

While some of the cancer responded to the chemo, there was some that proved to be chemo resistant. No matter what type of treatment he went through, those cancerous cells were not touched, and they continued to multiply. This summer he was cancer free everywhere (which is rare with lymphoma), except for that spot behind his stomach where we think it all started. So dad went in for surgery to have that tumor removed. Not only was it the size of a softball, but some blood vessels from his small intestine were surrounding the tumor, which meant they also had to remove a section of his intestine as well. 

Visiting him after his surgery was the hardest visit I ever had. He couldn’t talk, hadn’t eaten or drunk anything in days, and was in a lot of pain. I cried on the drive home, and begged God for healing. Dad recovered well, and was soon back at home and back to “normal”. But a scan a few weeks later showed that there were still chemo resistant cells in his lymph nodes, and we were back to square one. 

The doctor put him on maintenance chemo to try to keep the cancer in check while we started looking for new options. It was time to think outside the box, which meant applying for various trials around the country and praying he’d get accepted into them. In the past month, my parents have been traveling all over the US, meeting with different hospitals to get Dad on their waiting lists, praying that he is qualified to participate, and that the trials will work. And that’s where we are today. 

Magnify No Other Name |

I feel like we’re back to the place we were at a year ago. I’m back to questioning God. Asking him WHY this is happening. Waiting for answers. Waiting for news. And seeing my dad in pain again. 

I won’t lie, these past 12 months have been the hardest months of my life. While good things have happened (like Isaac getting a job!), everything with my dad is still at the back of my mind. While this time of life has been so hard, it’s also made the time I’ve spent with my family so much sweeter. We cherish the little moments, the hugs goodbye, the laughs and the tears a little more than before. This has been eye-opening for us, realizing how short life is, and the fact that we need to make the most of every moment. 

I think the thing that has amazed me the most about this past year is my dad’s attitude through it all. Yes, there have been times where I know he’s been scared, confused and hurting. But even in those times, he has continually pointed to Christ. He has kept his hope in the Lord, and trusted not only in His timing and provision, but also in the reality of ultimate healing. Even if Dad doesn’t survive this cancer, we are able to rest assured knowing that his soul is safe with the Lord. 

I’ve been reading through Romans recently, and it’s amazing how much the Lord has used those chapters to convict, encourage and strengthen my faith. While I still have my times of doubt and questioning, I am reminded of the Lord’s sovereignty through it all. 

Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
“For who has known the mind of the Lord, or who has been his counselor?”
“Or who has given a gift to him that he might be repaid?
For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen.
Romans 11:33-36

A few weeks ago I was really struggling with understanding the “why”. Why dad? Why now? Why all of this? And these verses reminded me that it’s because through this, God will be glorified. Who am I to think I know the mind of God. Who am I to think I know best? Yes, I want to see my dad become a grandfather and I know family still needs him, but at the same time I need to keep in mind that if it’s God’s will to call him home, then we need to be okay with that. 

Magnify No Other Name |

Recently I read this verse and sent it to my Dad.

Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer. 
Romans 12:12

One of the things I have really struggled with is having hope. Throughout this entire process, we have been on a rollercoaster ride of good news followed by devastating news, good, then devastating. I reached a point where I didn’t even want to hear the “good” news because I just knew it would only get my hopes up once we heard the bad news that would follow. When I read that verse I was so convicted. As a child of God, I need to remember that my hopes are not to be placed in worldly things, because I have the ULTIMATE hope. 

The journey isn’t over. We still have hope. Hope in getting into treatment. Hope for a cure. And hope for years together. But most importantly we have hope in the Lord and ultimately know that He is on his throne, He is in control and He will do all things for the good of those who love Him. Even if that good is the ultimate healing.

I have learned and grown so much in these past 12 months. I’ve experienced heartache like never before. I’ve questioned what I believed. I have cried more tears that I can begin to count. I have had friends reach out to pray for and comfort my family. I have learned to embrace loved ones. I’ve seen what cancer does, and how much pain it creates. I’ve fallen to my knees begging for my dad to be healed. And I’ve been strengthened in my faith thanks to the work of the Holy Spirit in me. 

My prayer today and forever is that through these events and whatever else God has in store for us, that we will magnify no other name. When I first heard this song on the radio, I found myself listening with tears streaming down my face. I love how the Lord can use music to touch your heart when you need it the most, and every word of this song resonated with me. My prayer is that He may take all the anger, frustration, despair and questioning from me and replace it with His truth and more of Him.

I’ve been trying to make sense of the sorrow that I feel
Holding on for life to the only thing that’s real
I’ve only scratched the surface, I’ve barely had a taste
But just a glimpse draws my heart to change
And one sight of you lays my sin to waste
I don’t need to see everything just more of you

Take it all, take it all away
Magnify no other name
Open up, open up my eyes
To you

My sight is incomplete and I’ve made you look small
I’ve been staring at my problems for way too long
Re-align where my hope is set, until you’re all that’s left
But just a glimpse draws my heart to change
And one sight of you lays my sin to waste
I don’t need to see everything just more of you

Take it all, take it all away
Magnify no other name
Open up, open up my eyes
To you

May we magnify His name today!

share this post

What do you think

  1. Whitney Daniels Blain says:

    Love you friend. Thank you for sharing your heart while grounding your comments in the true and wonderful Word of God. I’ll wait until after work to listen to that song! ;) I’m stopping to pray for your precious daddy and your family right now.

  2. Raising World Children Ezine says:

    I’m so sorry about your father. Thank you for sharing this. I wish you all strength.

  3. Marcie says:

    I’m so sorry you and you family are going through this right now. Thanks for sharing your story.

  4. Wife Sense says:

    Was blessed by your testimony of confidence in the sovereignty of God and the confidence of your dad’s healing – though it may be ultimate. The world has no category for or imitation of that. May God continue to sustain your family with His grace and peace.

  5. Courtney Byers says:

    I am so sorry that your family is going through this! My thoughts and prayers are with you all. His faith is so inspiring <3

I'm becca, and I'm so glad you're here.

I'm a sinner saved by grace who loves staying active and eating healthy. I am married to my high school sweetheart, Isaac, and I'm mama to James and an adorable puppy named Lillie.

meet becca

healthy living blogger


%d bloggers like this: